[St. John, US Virgin Islands] – In a shocking revelation that has left many residents and visitors alike feeling helpless, a local mosquito has confirmed that no amount of bug spray can stop it.
The mosquito, who requested to remain anonymous due to fears of being swatted, spoke exclusively to our reporters about its seemingly invincible nature.
“I’ve been here in the Virgin Islands for as long as I can remember,” said the mosquito. “And let me tell you, I’ve seen it all. Tourists slathering on layers of bug spray, residents installing screens on their windows, nothing seems to work.”
When asked how it manages to evade even the most potent bug repellents, the mosquito simply shrugged.
“I don’t know, man. It’s like, the more bug spray they put on, the more determined I get. It’s a game of cat and mouse, you know?”
The mosquito went on to reveal that it actually finds the scent of bug spray quite pleasant.
“I mean, it’s not as delicious as human blood, but it’s definitely up there,” it said. “Plus, it makes me feel like a celebrity. Like, ‘oh look at me, I’m so important that people have to spray chemicals all over themselves just to keep me away.'”
Many locals and tourists have expressed frustration with the mosquito’s unrelenting presence, with some resorting to extreme measures like sleeping in bug tents or wearing full-body mosquito suits.
“I just don’t understand how something so tiny can cause so much havoc,” said one exasperated resident. “It’s like, can’t we just declare war on the mosquitos or something?”
Despite the widespread annoyance and inconvenience caused by the mosquito, the US Virgin Islands Department of Tourism has stated that it has no plans to take action against the pesky insect.
“We understand that mosquitos can be a nuisance, but they’re also an important part of the ecosystem,” said a spokesperson for the department. “Plus, if we got rid of all the mosquitos, what would the lizards and birds eat?”
In the meantime, locals and visitors are advised to continue using bug spray and hoping for the best. As the mosquito put it, “You can try to stop me, but you can’t stop nature, baby.”