St. John, US Virgin Islands – In a shocking revelation, local resident and self-proclaimed “island queen” Margarita Martinez has announced that she has made love to 50% of the US Virgin Islands’ population.
“I was just as surprised as anyone else when I did the math,” said Martinez in an exclusive interview with the Virgin Islands Daily News. “But when you’ve lived here your whole life, you start to run out of options.”
Martinez, who has lived on the island of St. John for 35 years, says she never intended to become the “resident bicycle,” but that the small size of the island made it inevitable.
“It’s not like I set out to sleep with half the island,” said Martinez. “It’s just that when you live on a 10-square-mile rock in the middle of the Caribbean, you’re bound to run into the same people over and over again.”
Martinez’s confession has sparked a wave of reactions on social media, with many locals expressing shock and disbelief.
“I can’t believe Margarita slept with my ex-boyfriend, my boss, and my cousin,” tweeted St. John resident Ivana Bloyou. “I thought she had better taste.”
Others, however, have come to Martinez’s defense, arguing that she is simply a victim of island life.
“Listen, we all have needs,” said St. Croix resident Harry Johnson. “And when you live in a place where the dating pool is smaller than the hotel pool at the Ritz-Carlton, you do what you gotta do.”
Despite the backlash, Martinez says she has no regrets about her island conquests.
“I’ve had some good times and some bad times, but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t trade my island life for anything,” she said. “And who knows, maybe I’ll make it to 75% before I die. A girl can dream, can’t she?”